The beginning of a beautiful friendship
Having recently started my journey into self-employment, it has crystallised the importance of building strong relationships, because they are your lifeblood as you start out. You often read and hear about this obvious fact but you don’t appreciate it until you test those relationships to realise their fragility.
Most recently I was taken for a coffee by two professionals who I have long admired. Although our engagement has been sporadic, the invitation was purely to congratulate me on my new venture and extend an olive branch should I need to reach out for advice. It was a completely non-transactional meeting, which led me to reflect on the nature of relationships and what constitutes a strong one.
My grandfather was a mechanic by trade whose claim to fame was supporting the late Duke of Edinburgh on one of his solo visits to Australia. His primary role was ensuring each of the cars of the Duke’s entourage were in tip top condition and if they did break down he would be expected to fix it.
He learnt two things from this adventure of a lifetime 1) cars break down a lot and 2) treat everyone with respect, from the garbage man to a… Duke. Always the larrikin, he understood that you generally catch more bees with honey and applied that notion to all his interactions.
He was not the type of man to stand on ceremony or have any great ego about him, he was after all a humble mechanic from Maroubra who enjoyed spending time with his wife and four kids, having a beer down the pub and sharing stories. Legend has it our family owned the real estate along Boyce Road at Maroubra but lost it in a poker match – this cannot be verified in the annals of history, as he was never one to let the truth get in the way of a good yarn.
Nonetheless, it was not uncommon for Pa to have struck up some sort of conversation while on outings to the groceries, the pub, church or quite literally just waiting for a mate. My sister and I would often roll our eyes and give each other that knowing look of ‘that’s just Pa.’
Until we would re-enter the shop where he had spoken with the attendant, and they would ask how John (my grandpa) is going? Did he manage to fix that fence that was causing him grief? Or did he sort out that issue with the tank? Or sometimes they would just say, gees your grandpa is a funny fella’ with a chuckle.
He had a reputation. I realise now that through those small, seemingly innocuous interactions requiring no transaction, a rapport was established, and a relationship was formed. It dawns on me that he may have been one of my first role models in how to be a good PR. He was an excellent listener, often asking questions or engaging in nonverbal ques. He told the best stories and always had a whip smart retort if the occasion called for it (9 out of 10 the occasion was found).
But these relationships were formed over time, required consistent nurturing, and generally were established with no expectation of anything in return.
Therefore, as I continue down the well-trod path of going it solo, I remind myself that from Prince’s to paupers we are all just people. So reach out and say hello, it may just be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.